


A Roll in the Hay

by Canoe



Category: Bonanza
Genre: Episode: s11e09 Meena, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2278419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canoe/pseuds/Canoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Meena kicks Candy and Joe out to the haystack for the night, they argue about who is the bigger ladies man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Roll in the Hay

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god. *hides face* I wrote this ten years ago, and did my best to try and fix some of the more embarrassing parts of this. This is the first ever slashfic I have written, obvious by the fact that I've hidden it away for so long. Not beta'd.

"Hey, move over."

Without looking up, Candy Canaday scootched over on the pile of hay as his friend, Joe Cartwright, plopped down next to him, sending up a flutter of hay into the air.

"I see Meena kicked you out as well," he observed dryly.

"I'll have you know I volunteered," Joe said rather indignantly.

"Uh huh, sure." Candy snorted and started to burrow himself down in the hay again to try and get a comfortable position for the night.

Joe propped himself up on his elbows enough to shoot Candy a look. "And just why don't you believe me?"

"Well... I have to say it probably has to do something with that kiss she gave me earlier."

"Kiss? Gave you?" Joe raised his eyebrows. "Well it certainly wasn't better than the one I gave her before you even got here."

"What? Are you telling me you lied?" Candy mock gasped and turned to face his friend. "That you actually got further with our marriage minded friend in there than you let on?"

"I was a desperate man," Joe grumbled.

"Couldn't handle the pressure, could ya?" Candy grinned, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

"What?" Joe sat up fully now, a look of pure indignance across his face. "Me? Not able to handle the pressure of a woman?"

"Well honestly, if the kiss you gave her was that great, she wouldn't have welcomed me with as open arms as she did."

"I'll have you know, I have the reputation of being the best kisser in Virginia City."

Candy snorted and settled back down in the hay. "I'll believe that when I see it."

"Oh yeah?"

Candy closed an eye. "Yeah."

"I'll prove it!"

"How? You going to walk in there and ask Meena which one of us was the better kisser? I'm sure that'll go over real well... in fact, I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be hearing wedding bells."

Joe remained silent and glared off into the darkness. He wouldn’t admit it aloud, but Candy was at least right about that. The last thing Joe wanted to do was get forced into a shotgun wedding. But the fact that Candy was technically winning the argument rankled him. For too long had he been the undisputed champion Romeo of Virginia City to be showed up by some cowhand. It was a matter of honor and pride that he prove his point.

"Keep your pouting over there down to a minimum." Candy mumbled as he closed the second eye and settled himself down into the hay for the night. "A man needs his sleep, ya know."

"Yeah, I know." Joe grumbled, still trying to think of a way to win this round of one-upmanship. "How about we prove it?"

Candy cracked an eye open, annoyed. "How about we prove what?"

"Just which one of us is better."

"How do you expect to do that? If either one of us walks back in that house, we're liable to have a shotgun buried between our shoulders until we say ‘I do’."

"There are other women!"

"Oh yes, there was Katie, wasn't there? As I recall, she ran off to Sacramento to marry a mine owner."

This isn't working, Joe concluded silently.

There had to be another way. If there wasn’t, he’d have to admit defeat. Then he’d listen to Candy make snide remarks all the way back to the Ponderosa. And there was no way in hell Joe was going to let that happen. His mind raced, trying to figure out how to preemptively shut Candy up. A small voice in the back of his mind said there was one way to prove it.

And being the impulsive person he was, he didn’t give it any more thought. Because thinking might have talked him out of it, and then, well, he’d lose. And so without any warning, he rolled over and pinned his best friend against the hay. Before Candy could even utter a sound of surprise dove in, Joe silenced him by capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

For one shocked moment neither man could quite believe what was going on. Candy clearly had never expected such a drastic move on Joe's part, but even more surprising was that after a few moments, he felt a tongue tease at his lips, forcing them further apart so that they bumped together.

Joe felt Candy’s fingers curling into his shoulder, and for a moment he just lost himself in the sensation. Then it suddenly occurred to Joe that maybe he had taken things a step too far, because clearly other parts of him were enjoying the kiss more than he thought.

It seemed that common sense kicked in to both of them at the same time, and in unison they pulled apart, not quite looking each other in the eye. As Joe rolled back over to his side of the haystack, he stared at the night sky, willing the pounding in his chest to go away. He licked his lips, unable to help savoring the taste of the kiss. That wasn't quite what he had expected.

Several more long tense moments passed, before the silence threatened to smother them. With a renewed resolve, Joe decided to speak up.

"So sure that I'm that bad now?"

Candy rolled his tongue in his mouth, his frazzled and tired brain not able to make out much of what happened, other than the kiss itself. "Well... uh, I can't say it's the worst kiss I've ever had."

"So it was good?" Joe asked, wincing as the question came out more hesitant than confident. Hesitancy never won any arguments! Of course, neither did forcing your tongue down your best friend’s throat. What the hell had he been thinking? ...had he been thinking?

"It wasn't bad," Candy admitted, albeit with a small bit of reluctance.

Unanimously they both decided to roll over to opposite ends of the hay stack, and give themselves as much room as possible. They both knew that what they had just done was by no means acceptable in “polite” Western society. Both the kiss... and the enjoyment of it.

Several minutes passed as they both stared up at the skies, preoccupied with almost the exact same thoughts.

"Well," Candy decided to break the silence, "it wasn't that bad... I might even be inclined to say it was good."

Joe fumbled for his voice, knowing that the best thing he could do was press on. "Might? I'm just a might?"

"It was only one kiss." Candy shrugged lightly. "I can't give a definitive answer on that."

"No, no I guess not..." Joe trailed off and turned his head to look at his friend. "It pains me to admit, but you weren't bad yourself."

"Hey, I have my talents other than sneaking into hostile enemy camps."

Joe swallowed. He certainly did.

"You'll make a woman very happy someday,” he admitted awkwardly after a few more moments of silence.

"So will you."

There were a few more moments of awkward silence before Joe decided to broach the subject that was on both their minds. "You know, we can't mention that to anyone."

"Yeah, they might look at us a bit odd. Then the stories would start, people would talk, sooner than you know we wouldn't get any hands because they'd be afraid of us trying to snuggle up to them in the middle of a round-up."

"I'm serious!" Joe protested.

"So am I." Candy shot back with a grin.

"It's just not... it's just not the way things are done," Joe said, not quite sure why those exact words were coming out. Of course they both knew that. "You know, we should probably just forget that ever happened."

"Absolutely."

"And swear that we'll never mention this incident again, as long as we both live and breathe."

"I swear on my grandmother's grave."

"You didn't know your grandmother," Joe pointed out. “Nor where her grave is to swear on it.”

"I have to save the really important promises for my mother's grave. Sorry."

"This is important!" Joe sat up and pinned Candy with a glare. "Now promise!"

"I promise! I promise!"

"Good."

Several more silent minutes passed, and Joe was almost sure Candy had slipped off to sleep when he suddenly spoke up again.

"Joe?"

"What?" he sighed, turning to face Candy.

He turned and found himself on the receiving end of almost the exact same treatment he'd just given the Ponderosa's foreman earlier. He knew he should have shoved his friend away, but despite his better judgment he wrapped an arm around his best friend's shoulder, and pulled him closer. A myriad of feelings raced through him as he continued to kiss Candy, and was mildly surprised to realize that despite the fact he was kissing the man, it felt nearly the same as kissing any of the women he knew. It might have been even a little better. No, no, he wouldn’t think of that right now.

They broke away again, this time their noses almost touching as they looked into each others' eyes.

Joe tried to ignore the effect the tongue play was having on his lower half. That was definitely not something he needed to consider tonight. This alone was enough. Despite his concerns, he gave his friend a grin. "Ready to admit defeat yet?"

"Not until you admit I'm the better kisser."

"Well... I think it's going to be a long night then."

"I guess so." Candy shrugged and caught Joe’s mouth again.

It didn’t matter who conceded at this point. Joe already knew that he’d won.


End file.
